You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
