Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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