hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
