So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
