If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
