think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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