dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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