Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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