I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize