bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
