There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
