He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My vagina is very pro this idea
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
