Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
