AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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