I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
