Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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