Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
