I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My first STD was from a foam party
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
