Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
