He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
