I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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