I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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