This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
