Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
