you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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