You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
