Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
