You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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