I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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