holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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