i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Pants are for mortals
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
