nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize