I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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