Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
