When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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