I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
