can we get nightvision for the apartment?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
