Already got asked if we're dating
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
