I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
