she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
