"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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