Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
