His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
