I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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