Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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