Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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