The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
this hospital has no fireball
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
