I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
