Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
