Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
