Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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