I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
