She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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