If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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