i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
