Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
