wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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