Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
