is your mom at the bar?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
